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Hello Everyone and welcome to another wonderful post from yours truly. So I have been so excited about my new web platform I am using for my new blog, I do think it is a closer fit to what I originally wanted. So I wanted to cover a topic in this post which is “Ghosting” so let jump right into it.

So back in July I met this guy on Grindr, he is something different that I’m not normally into, he is younger, 25 and in August after I had entered a relationship I had to back off due to the fact I don’t cheat. But being single again I reached back out. I was hoping to meet up for coffee, drinks, a NSA hookup whatever worked for me. So we had a chance to meet up and it was like pulling teeth. Gay rule number 1, if your not interested in someone please speak up, let them know. We are all adults but back on topic we had planned to meet up, at 7:30. 5:00pm rolled around and I received a text that he was not feeling well.

Of course at this point being the nice person I am, I allow this event to be rescheduled. So this was on Tuesday of last week, here we are on Monday of the following week and not a word. Here is the thing, I can handle if your not interested. If you don’t think it would be a good match, thats fine. I am a very forgiving individual. But to just ghost and never hear from you again is not okay. This is what’s wrong with the gay community today, I have no problem telling someone I am not interested, most guys can’t handle rejection. It’s a hard thing to deal with. But once you get over being upset about it and letting it be a learning experience things end up being so much easier.

As gay men we don’t just not like each other, we find things that make us uncomfortable or uncertain, once we move on from how it makes us feel and open your mind up to something “different” things tend to change. When you ghost someone it makes them feel like they said or did something wrong. If your on Grindr and just looking for a picture or conversation just be honest about it. If your honest about what you are or are not looking for I personally have more respect for you.

I at one time ghosted, I also did not care how the other person felt. But then it started to happen to me all the time. But now that I understand more how it makes someone feel I really try to let the person know what I’m looking for and my expectations. I can’t speak for everyone else but I value my time, for every moment I waste I will never be able to get that moment back. So there for when I’m investing time into you, please don’t discount my time.

How does it makes you feel when you ghost someone or when it happens to you? Why do you do it?

Get involved with this posting! I would love to know more of a community insight about the topic. So comment or contact me above.

Be kind to one another. Love Each other and as always stay gorgeous!

Xoxo,

Adam.

Hello everyone and welcome to another fabulous post from yours truly. Lets talk about sex, men and life changes. How maturing can change men, your life and sex.

So I have been feeling a few different things after being single and out of my last relationship and its the biggest change in my life since I came out. Recently I have been exploring a different type of guy that I normally would not.

For those of you who have known me for the past 10 years you probably know I normally attracted to more of the daddy type between the ages of 35-47. But after recently getting out of a relationship with someone who was 34 I have had a different craving. I am for the first time in my life looking to be friends with more people my age.

I think after a certain age and after being as much as an adult as I could between the ages of 17 and 22 paying all my bill, having to force myself to survive without anyone makes someone lets say 19 crave a guy who is older for multiple reason, first off older guys are often more successful, then they are normally more stable in their career, and they know what they want.

I never felt like I had anything in common with people my age. I was always worked jobs that were more important then your average 19 year old, but now that I’m 23 and working a great job, making decent money, maintaining the same place to live for a year, owning my car and having it paid off and working normal hours has really turned my world upside down.

First off and I will be honest there are a few things that I did not like about guys in their twenties. Most guys that are in their twenties normally and should party, I never really got to have a crazy late teen-early twenties. I was jealous so there was always a jealousy there because I wanted to party and have fun, but I had to make sure I would not do anything to put my job or life at risk. Then there was the sex. First off I hate when someone does not know what they want in bed, I don’t mind so much now because I have found out thats what makes it fun and enjoyable. I just wanted someone that knows what they wanted and how to do it. I did not have time to really enjoy it, it was more of “I need this, I don’t really want to do it but I need the edge taken care of.” Now that I am not as stressed or working super weird hours I have the time and energy to go and try new things. Now the interesting part is I have never had sex with anyone my age. I feel like a virgin.

And speaking of virginity, I think in your life as a gay man you often change up what you like, I think sometimes you can just be a bottom, or a top or versatile. But I think a lot of that has to do with your psychological state, for example I have never thought of myself as a top, I have always thought being versatile was the best way to go. That way your not constantly limiting yourself. The more I explore my sexuality I have started to think maybe I should stop being so afraid of what could happen and just let life happen. When you stop trying to associate sex with emotions you tend to be a much more relaxed person. In saying that, I think it is possible to have meaningless sex, then have sex with someone you want more then just sex with. I don’t think that a life full of meaningless sex is going to make you happy in the end, everyone wants someone.

I still love the older gay community, if it was not for them I would not be where and who I am today. They taught me things that I am so thankful for today. I hate when I hear the younger community say “he’s old, ew!.” Let me give you some advice, Not giving someone older a chance is limiting yourself. I have dated four guys in my life, ages 37, 35, 52 and 34. And I am only 23, Some people think its inappropriate, I say thank god for all of them, their wisdom is priceless.

I think life for me is finally just catching up and I am excited about exploring this new adventure with a different generation which happens to be my own. It’s a huge step in a great direction for myself. Maybe fate is finally on my side. Maybe my hard work is finally paying off. Who knows. All I do know is it feels so amazing to finally enjoy life with a new outlook on the people I am now comfortable being around.

So much in my life is changing, has anyone else ever had this happen to them? I would love to hear your story.

Xoxo

Adam