In recent months I have been told that I am stuck up, that I am arrogant, and that I think I’m better than everybody else. I think it’s time to clear the air myself.
I was told not too long ago that the reason that people don’t approach me is for one reason, I had a hard time accepting this. “Adam you are attractive and have an opinion, that is intimidating to most people”. I have a philosophy in life, once you accept the fact that you’re attractive, you become a complete asshole. I have never wanted to accept that, I don’t think I’m the best looking person, I feel like there’s people out there that are more attractive than me. We all compare ourselves to other people.
I personally feel like most gay men are willing to change themselves and their own morals to fit someone else’s. I refuse to do that. That doesn’t make me a stuck up person, that does not make me arrogant. I’m being true to myself and not lowering my standards for anyone. Everyone that I talk to thinks that I can get any guy that I want. This is far from the truth. I’ve only had one person that I truly wanted in my entire life, it was the first guy that I loved and the first guy that broke my heart. In a weird way I still miss the relationship.
I don’t like it when people take things personally. For example, if you approach me on Facebook, Grindr, Tinder and you’re looking at me as a sex symbol and automatically think that I want to sleep with you, unless I am interested in that the likelihood of us hanging out with each other in a non-public setting is very unlikely. I don’t like being put in situations where I feel uncomfortable or where I feel like something may happen that I don’t want. When I was younger, I realize that guys are not gonna respect you. Regardless of who you are or what you do. I had someone reach out to me last night, actually for the last few nights. They were interested in having sex with me but I did not want to have sex with them, I told them that I wasn’t interested in that with them but if they wanted to be friends I would be down with that. They told me that they were not interested in that with me and they were only interested in fun so in that case they were going to block me and they did.
I appreciate peoples honesty, I know within the last seven years in Charlotte I have not had the best track record. I know there’s still things going around that are not true. I’m not gonna let that stop me from living my life. Everybody has a past, if you can’t see past the past and look at someone for who they are today, that’s your loss.
So what do I actually want right now in my life? I haven’t dated in two years I would love to get to know somebody but until then, I’m happy. Am I looking for people who genuinely want to be friends and not have sex or do anything sexual together. I would love to have friends that we didn’t look at each other that way. Am I looking for a relationship every time I try to talk to somebody new or old? No! A lot of time, I like to check up on people to see how they’re doing because I’m a genuinely nice person that cares.
I’ve come to the realization in my life that I’m gonna live my life to the fullest regardless of what others think. The people who want to get to know me will make time to get to know me. I have a lot of people that send me really nasty messages, do they bother me? A little bit but then I try to re-think the situation and realize they may have something going on in their own life that is making them react or attack me. Sometimes they come back and apologize, sometimes they don’t. Either way I’m the type of person that lets people say what they wanna say because everybody has a right to their opinion and feelings.
If you take anything away from this entire blog post, take this. Remember that people do change, just because you have a bad opinion or taste in your mouth about someone, you need to consider what they may have had going on in their life at that point. I am very open and honest about my life, my emotions, and how I feel. Not everyone is comfortable with doing that and that’s OK. Just because I don’t respond to your Grindr message, Facebook message or Instagram message that doesn’t mean that I don’t like you, that doesn’t mean that I think you’re a bad person or that I’m not interested. A lot of times I open them just to get the notification to go away, a lot of times I will have 15 messages at one time from a photo I posted. There is no way I can respond to everybody I try my best, it doesn’t always work.
If you would like to have dinner with me and see who I actually am, how I act instead of judging me based upon my social media or someone else’s opinion. I am willing to do so. All you need to do is reach out and ask for my number and have a time and date of where you would like to meet up at.
As always, be true to yourself, love yourself, be kind to others and remember everyone is different, not everyone is going to like you and that’s OK.