Hello everyone and welcome to another fabulous post from yours truly. Lets talk about sex, men and life changes. How maturing can change men, your life and sex.
So I have been feeling a few different things after being single and out of my last relationship and its the biggest change in my life since I came out. Recently I have been exploring a different type of guy that I normally would not.
For those of you who have known me for the past 10 years you probably know I normally attracted to more of the daddy type between the ages of 35-47. But after recently getting out of a relationship with someone who was 34 I have had a different craving. I am for the first time in my life looking to be friends with more people my age.
I think after a certain age and after being as much as an adult as I could between the ages of 17 and 22 paying all my bill, having to force myself to survive without anyone makes someone lets say 19 crave a guy who is older for multiple reason, first off older guys are often more successful, then they are normally more stable in their career, and they know what they want.
I never felt like I had anything in common with people my age. I was always worked jobs that were more important then your average 19 year old, but now that I’m 23 and working a great job, making decent money, maintaining the same place to live for a year, owning my car and having it paid off and working normal hours has really turned my world upside down.
First off and I will be honest there are a few things that I did not like about guys in their twenties. Most guys that are in their twenties normally and should party, I never really got to have a crazy late teen-early twenties. I was jealous so there was always a jealousy there because I wanted to party and have fun, but I had to make sure I would not do anything to put my job or life at risk. Then there was the sex. First off I hate when someone does not know what they want in bed, I don’t mind so much now because I have found out thats what makes it fun and enjoyable. I just wanted someone that knows what they wanted and how to do it. I did not have time to really enjoy it, it was more of “I need this, I don’t really want to do it but I need the edge taken care of.” Now that I am not as stressed or working super weird hours I have the time and energy to go and try new things. Now the interesting part is I have never had sex with anyone my age. I feel like a virgin.
And speaking of virginity, I think in your life as a gay man you often change up what you like, I think sometimes you can just be a bottom, or a top or versatile. But I think a lot of that has to do with your psychological state, for example I have never thought of myself as a top, I have always thought being versatile was the best way to go. That way your not constantly limiting yourself. The more I explore my sexuality I have started to think maybe I should stop being so afraid of what could happen and just let life happen. When you stop trying to associate sex with emotions you tend to be a much more relaxed person. In saying that, I think it is possible to have meaningless sex, then have sex with someone you want more then just sex with. I don’t think that a life full of meaningless sex is going to make you happy in the end, everyone wants someone.
I still love the older gay community, if it was not for them I would not be where and who I am today. They taught me things that I am so thankful for today. I hate when I hear the younger community say “he’s old, ew!.” Let me give you some advice, Not giving someone older a chance is limiting yourself. I have dated four guys in my life, ages 37, 35, 52 and 34. And I am only 23, Some people think its inappropriate, I say thank god for all of them, their wisdom is priceless.
I think life for me is finally just catching up and I am excited about exploring this new adventure with a different generation which happens to be my own. It’s a huge step in a great direction for myself. Maybe fate is finally on my side. Maybe my hard work is finally paying off. Who knows. All I do know is it feels so amazing to finally enjoy life with a new outlook on the people I am now comfortable being around.
So much in my life is changing, has anyone else ever had this happen to them? I would love to hear your story.