While visiting New York this past weekend I noticed a few things. First, large metropolitan areas have a large amount of….. how can I put this……Windows, I can’t tell you how many times I have walked down 9th Ave and looked above a store or restaurant and someone is having sex in the window, walking around naked or see a swing. It’s not a bad thing, personally I don’t think enough people embrace their sexuality nor live a healthy sex life. But thats beside the point. Also a lot of people want a lot of different things, some want sex, others want relationships and some just want to talk.

So after realizing all the activities in the windows above the street I was chatting with a few guys on Grindr and one completely caught me off guard. And let’s just go ahead and get one thing out of the way. YES, I am on Grindr, I have zero problems admitting that, I’ll probably be sitting with you at dinner and chatting with someone on Grindr not even thinking about it. I think as a young gay man, we all tend to just stick to these apps because it is easier to be out at a bar and on an app then to go up and initiate a conversation because there is less of a disappointment and for those like me who have a confidence issue at times we don’t like to be told “NO” or “I’m not interested.” So its easier.

For all of us, Grindr has either been great or its been something you hate. I use to hate it because I was completely stuck in being “relationship oriented” and it felt like Grindr made it hard to meet anyone wanting more then sex. Then after just focusing on myself and not worrying about always dating, I understood why there are apps for hooking up and meeting people. Sometimes you just want fuck and not have to “wine and dine or be wined and dinned” to get what you need. Granted I enjoy going to dinner but sometimes depending on who it is lets just get it over with and move on.

The entire reason I am writing this and your still wondering where is the “Fifty Shades” part?! So while visiting New York I received a message from a couple on Grindr. Now depending on how well you know me you should know I really don’t like couples. I have nothing about them being on Grindr, its just too many people for me. But I get this message and I’m thinking to myself, ” this is either something they send to a lot of people or they need to write erotic books for gay men.” I am going to post it below. But for me when guys send me messages like that It sounds nice but I’m really not interested in that.

I hear constantly at the bar and while in a community setting that we judge each other for using these apps, when we have all used it or at least had it downloaded on our phone. I have come to realize not everyone wants a relationship. Not everyone is meant for hookups, as gay men we are all different. As they say, different strokes for different folks.

So whats your option, what are your thoughts of Grindr, Tender, Scruff, DaddyHunt, Hornet? Do you think it has affected our community in a good or a bad way? Which is your favorite? Has it changed your life whats your #GrindrStory?

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